Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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