You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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