There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
