he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
