all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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