So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
