does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
