Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
