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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
