Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
