some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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