you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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