True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
