My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
