I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
