The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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