i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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