They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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