Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
