I hate all girls vehemently.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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