if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
