butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
