she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
