All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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