Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
