did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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