That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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