i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize