I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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