I accidentally had phone sex last night
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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