He disabled his match.com account in front of me
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
