You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
