He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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