She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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