lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
