I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
