once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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