i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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