Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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