dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
