I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
