I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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