nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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