is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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