This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My room smells like vodka and shame
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
