Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
