I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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