It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
