We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i out mim tonsoeep
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
