If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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