Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
