Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Randomize
