I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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