I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
