Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
