i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
