peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
