Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
