my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize