I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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