i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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