Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
