I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
