Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
