I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
God, I missed his penis.
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