No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
