i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
